Often when I talk about working through birth trauma a comment that I get is "it doesn't matter because I'm not planning to have anymore kids". And I would dispute that.
And this isn't just about accidental pregnancy (which happens WAY more than you might believe!), but other accidents.
And, usually, with accidents comes trauma (of varying degrees).
Many of you know that I was involved in a very serious car accident last year. While Maggie and I were physically fine, the accident was life altering. It resulted in some massive changes to our plans, PTSD for me that left me unable to drive for several months, and ongoing anxiety.
I started working with a psychologist on the PTSD.
And I remember that a couple of months into working with her she commented that I was coming along a lot quicker than expected, given the severity of my symptoms earlier on.
I took the time to reflect on that and I can honestly put that down to all the work that I did on my birth trauma and all the things that I learnt along that journey.
The 2 big learnings that I believe helped me through:
1) I don't live in a vacuum.
Other people are making decisions and I have no control over those decisions.
Just as I worked through all the care provider's actions and decisions and came to a place where I realised that my decisions could be PERFECT, but they could not change other peoples actions.
Same with the accident - Bad shit happens to people who make awesome decisions. Because we're not the only ones making decisions. It sucks, but it's a fact of life.
2) I can be both grateful AND traumatised at the same time.
Anyone who has ever experienced birth trauma has probably heard the "just be grateful" nonsense. And it is nonsense.
You are a complex human being and more than one feeling fits inside you at a time. You CAN be grateful for your baby, grateful to be alive, AND be traumatised by the experience or the way that you were treated.
Same with a car accident. I was able to quickly integrate the fact that I was grateful that it hadn't been worse AND that I was traumatised by the event of being hit by a truck.
And unfortunately the story doesn't end there....
Last week my partner and two older kids were involved in a (thankfully, minor) car accident.
Working through my own trauma and supporting the kids to work through theirs was made so much easier because of all the work that I have done over the past few years on working through my own traumas. I fully understand my triggers, my needs, how I communicate, how my partner communicates (or doesn't LOL), and all the strategies that help us get through trauma as a family.
Working through your birth trauma in a deep and holistic way can give you SO MUCH information about yourself that will help you in many other aspects of your life - especially in any other traumatic situations.
Love, Lizzie. x
PS: If you would like to book in a session to start working through your birth trauma please email me at Sproutbirthing@hotmail.com. I'd love to offer you an introductory birth trauma exploration session.
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