Today my baby boy turns 9.
As always I spend a bit of time around the kids' birthdays reflecting on the experience, how I felt then, how I feel now, and what I learnt.
Thomas was baby #2. I had been planning and preparing for a VBAC. I had an iron clad birth plan. I had learnt so much about birth and my rights. I thought that I knew what I needed know.
But there was still quite a few things I was about to learn.....
I learnt that midwives in a hospital environment are usually providing obstetric based rather than midwifery care.
I learnt that some care providers will go to any length to make you feel shit about your decisions.
I learnt that knowing about birth isn't enough to get the birth that you want or need.
I learnt about bait and switch in a very big way.
I learnt that so many people consider a pregnant woman nothing but an incubator.
I learnt about how care providers can manipulate data to sway you towards the decision that they want you to make.
I learnt that support people can accidentally send the wrong messages - even though they are trying to help.
I learnt that everyone had a freaking opinion about my choices.
I learnt that just because you feel good in that moment - doesn't mean that you will still feel good about your decisions later.
I learnt that reflection and critical analysis is so important - but best done a few months down the track.
I learnt that lodging a complaint is usually a huge waste of time.
I learnt that there is NOTHING wrong with me - but so much wrong with a maternity care culture that actively bullies women.
And I learnt patience (well - kind of, it's a work in progress). But seriously - anyone who's been pregnant past 42 weeks can tell you about patience. I went to 42+5.
I used to joke that he was putting the finishing touches on before making his big appearance. This morning I reflected on that again as I sat around waiting for him to hurry the hell up and put his shoes and socks on...only to then have to wait as he rolled his socks down just how he likes them. I feel like I've spent a lot of hours waiting for this kid!
This baby boy continues to teach me, challenge me, and help me grow.
Happy 9 years baby sprout!
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